First off let me say that Abby is doing really well and I am sure she will be 100% by tomorrow. Thank God. This is my most important thought of the day.
Having said that I would like to briefly discuss my feelings on something else. I PVR (TIVO) Oprah every day - not because I love Oprah, I used to, but because she gets the top guests and experts and most of her shows are very informative and interesting. Before I begin my rant ... you know it is coming (lol!) I would like to preface my post by saying that I love all of the good works that Oprah has done and I know that our world is a better place with her in it. I have however felt over the last few years quite frustrated by Oprah. In my opinion she does not let her special guests, stars or experts talk nearly as much as she prefers to hear the sound of her own voice. I find myself frequently yelling at the T.V. (to Oprah) to "shut up" ( a phrase I do not use with my children) and just let them talk! You have these people on your show because they have something to say that you are apparently not an expert on so why not let them speak! I even find myself fixated on the guests faces while she continuously interrupts them to try and read their frustration ... and you do see it. I am tired of her "ah-ha" moments as they seem to overshadow everything else.
I have been very busy over the last week as I am sure all of you have been too and I have just finally found the opportunity to catch up on my taped shows. I watched the secrets of real moms or whatever they called it show and I was very intrigued. Yes, we all have feelings of inadequacies and yes, sometimes our lives as we thought they would be are somewhat less rewarding than we selfishly imagined so I was very interested in the beginning to hear what was about to be discussed. I think the idea and premise of the show were great but unfortunately it somehow went wrong in my opinion for all of the reasons that great t.v. feels it needs to go to sell advertising.
1. Oprah does not have children, is quick to spew out that "mothers have the toughest job in the world" but she does not truly understand what we go through and that is okay but shut up and let the mothers speak because CLEARLY you are not an expert in this field. I know this sounds harsh coming from me but she needs to get over herself.
2. I was loving the fact that mothers were being honest about their feelings, their role and the odd competition between "working mothers" and "stay-at-home mothers" - I say odd because we know that we are all working very hard and should be united. We are all struggling with how our role of mother fits into our idea of how we saw ourselves before we had children. No day is every "easy", some days are okay and others are the days that we create the memories we always dreamed of. You never know what you are going to get when you wake up lol!
3. I was very much relating to the discussion, I have not personally peed into a diaper to avoid stopping on the road because my kids were asleep and had to drive another 3 hours but I can say that I understand and if the same opportunity arose I would pee in a diaper rather than waking my children up and having to spend the next 3 hours listening to them fight/cry or whatever.
4. There have been times where I have not necessarily forgotten to feed my children altogether (as one mom mentioned) but that time got away from me and it was later than I planned. I do not always bathe my children daily, nor do I think most of the time I need to. I do feel guilty about the amount of t.v. my children have watched so that I could "get other things done".
Rant - the show took a dramatic and disappointing turn in my opinion when they involved clearly wealthy, spoiled and indulgent mothers who went on to almost happily and freely (they thought they were quite witty and entitled) admit that there were times where they had not bathed their children for 3 weeks (I am sure they did not miss a manicure in that time) and there was also reference to using Vicodin to get themselves through the day. I am quite sure this is not the norm. I love to have a glass or two .... or three of wine (at night) and I am a big fan of prescribed for medical purposes (ie. tooth extraction/dry socket/IVF) medication but I have never used them for recreational purposes and I am embarrassed by the notion that the discussion that started, that the women I thought I could relate to could so quickly be turned into a circus of in my opinion bad motherhood. I believe this discussion, the notion of mothers admitting that what we signed up for - we love our children and would do anything for them - never return or exchange them was however not exactly what we thought it would be like, was a good, honest and refreshing discussion. Clearly Oprah was not the place to have it and having a "star" who had a birthday party for her only child where her Nanny did all of the work and she just "drank" with the parents was probably not indicative of where the "real moms" are at in this life. Nice try Oprah.
I am disappointed that the few who have the opportunity to share and provide real insight into our worlds (like the women who wrote the books that prompted the discussion - although clearly they were not struggling too much either) end up being cliches that in the end we truly can not relate with and are out for the almighty dollar. Too bad, we need more open discussions between mothers and there doesn't seem to be a safe place to do it. Struggling with your feelings as a mother is not the same as those mothers who are using drugs and neglecting their children. We are all facing the same issues but there needs to be a separate show about those who are dealing with it on the "normal" level and those who abuse prescription drugs and bathe their children quarterly. Why did she not see the difference?
I hope that this made sense, I just reread it and there are some run on sentences but I don't have time to fix my grammar right now lol! If you did not see the show then please ignore the above comments will probably make no sense.
For the record, avoiding flames, Motherhood has been far more rewarding then I ever imagined it to be. It is also far more difficult then I imagined and I often feel ill-prepared.
Download expired but you can still find it in my Digitreats Store
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So Oprah gets to the point in her talk where the mother who has a blog dedicated to her struggles with motherhood admits that her husband has now quit his job to stay at home to support her blog job as she is now earning $40,000 U.S. per month off of the advertising on her blog. My husband turned to me and said somewhat accusingly "why don't you advertise on your blog?" Thanks Oprah, you have ruined my week lol!
Personal note to Brent if you are reading: Don't quit your day job!
AdronsCatherine: Congratulations to you on the safe arrival of baby Jonah!
Tasha: Hugs to you sweetie, thank you for sharing :)
Suzy: The font I used for the days of the week on the Believe template is called Gigi.
Robin: You can find the artscow templates and instructions here. I will be opening the personalized sets again sometime next week :)
